Mondrian's Blog

[Stephynbouby]

A man was walking down the street and heard a dog yelping loudly and making a terrible noise. The dog’s owner, a woman, was shouting at the dog and telling it to behave and be quiet.

Man: ‘Muzzle the bitch’.

Woman: ‘It’s a dog, not a bitch’.

Man: ‘I was talking to the dog’.

[Stephynbouby]

There are no selections today.

On the morrow, malchicks.

[Stephynbouby]

Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one but the light bulb has really got to want to change.

[Stephynbouby]

There are 3 selections today:

The first runs in the 3:05 at Perth. The horse is called Baysbrown. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than or equal to 3/1.

The second runs in the 3:20 at Doncaster. The horse is called Golden Doyen. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than to 2/1.

The third runs in the 7:20 at Plumpton. The horse is called Edgar. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than to 11/4.

As usual, I'll post the results after the race.

[Stephynbouby]

There are 3 selections today:

The first runs in the 3:05 at Perth. The horse is called Baysbrown. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than or equal to 3/1.

The second runs in the 3:20 at Doncaster. The horse is called Golden Doyen. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than to 2/1.

The third runs in the 7:20 at Plumpton. The horse is called Edgar. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than to 11/4.

As usual, I'll post the results after the race.

Our first tip, Baysbrown, was sent off the 7/2 favourite and was therefore not a bet. Pity because it came nowhere and we would have won our bet.

The second, Golden Doyen, was sent off the 7/4 favourite and was therefore a bet. It was just as well because it came nowhere and we won our bet.

The third, Edgar, was sent off the 2/1 favourite and was therefore a bet. It was just as well because it came nowhere and we won our bet.

Number of Tips: 51
Number of No Bets: 30

Winning Bets: 15
Losing Bets: 6

Strike Rate: 71.43%

Profit/Loss: £0.68

Return on Investment: 3.24%

It's still early days with the system.

On the morrow, malchicks.

[Stephynbouby]

Son: Pappy, I miss my old spitoon.

Pappy: You always did, son.

[Stephynbouby]

There are no selections today.

On the morrow malchicks.

[Stephynbouby]

A priest was preaching to a crowd of natives in Africa.

Priest: 'My people, worship but the one god'.

Natives: 'Hushanga, bwana'.

The priest had no idea what the term meant but it sounded positive - which pleased the priest.

Priest: 'The lord is thy god'.

Natives: 'Hushanga, bwana'.

This too pleased the priest.

Priest: 'The lord thy god is thy saviour'.

Natives: 'Oh, hushanga, bwana, hushanga'.

This went on for some time. The priest was overcome with the emotion of the crowd. Eventually the priest ended his sermon and was then invited to see the chief's prize cows - which was an honour'

The chief and the priest went into the field where the chief kept his prize cows.

Chief: 'Please close the gate behind you bwana so that the cows don't escape and oh, take care not to step in any hushanga'.

[Stephynbouby]

There are no selections today.

On the morrow malchicks.

[Stephynbouby]

A supervisor kept shouting 'Green side up' to his workers.

A man came up to the supervisor and asked him why he kept shouting 'Green side up'?

The supervisor explained that they were navvies and were laying turf and he kept having to tell them 'Green side up'.

[Stephynbouby]

There are no selections today.

On the morrow malchicks.

[Stephynbouby]

A man was working on the 21st floor of an office block when he heard a tap, tap, tap on the window. Looking outside he saw a man jumping on the cloud and bouncing around.

The man in the office couldn't believe his eyes and opened the window.

The man on the cloud was doing forward somersaults, back flips and bouncing up and down.

Man on cloud: 'Come join me, it's fun.'

Man in office: 'No, I'll fall and die.'

Man on cloud: 'No you won't. I'll hold your hand'.

Man in office: 'Promise.'

Man on cloud: 'Promise'.

So the man in the office stepped on to the cloud and the man on the cloud let go of his hand. The man plummeted 21 floors down and was killed.

Just then, there was a puff of smoke and a man appeared dressed in a white robe and said 'For an Archangel, Gabriel, that was a rotten trick'

[Stephynbouby]

Today's selection runs in the 1:40 at Bath. The horse is called Ebbisham. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than or equal to 3/1.

As usual, I'll post the results after the race.

[Stephynbouby]

Patient: "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs".

Doctor: "I'm sorry, your injuries were so bad that we had to amputate both arms".

[Stephynbouby]

Today's selection runs in the 1:40 at Bath. The horse is called Ebbisham. Lay it if the odds close to the off are less than or equal to 3/1.

As usual, I'll post the results after the race.

... And Ebbisham was sent off at 5/1. That meant that it was a no bet because the odds were greater than our max odds of 3/1. This was just as well since Ebbisham won.

Here's the stats:

Number of Tips: 52
Number of No Bets: 31

Winning Bets: 15
Losing Bets: 6

Strike Rate: 71.43%

Profit/Loss: £0.68

Return on Investment: 3.24%

It's still early days with the system.

On the morrow, malchicks.