Mondrian's Blog

[Stephynbouby]

Sean

If you are a Villa fan, you have my deepest sympathy.

[Stephynbouby]

Little boy: I found a condom by the radiator this morning.

Little girl: What's a radiator?

[RandallSes]

Sean

If you are a Villa fan, you have my deepest sympathy.

Thanks

[Stephynbouby]

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

[Stephynbouby]

Dear Abbie, I recently met a wonderful woman. I’ve already told her about my father who is serving life for killing 3 people. She knows about my mum who is serving a 15 year jail sentence for smuggling heroine. I’ve also told her about my sister who is serving a 5 year sentence for running a vice ring. My problem is, how can I tell her that my brother supports Aston Villa?

[Stephynbouby]

Velcro – now there’s a rip off.

[Stephynbouby]

All the toilets in my local town have been stolen. The police say that they have nothing to go on.

[Stephynbouby]

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn
There's sheep in the meadow and cows in the corn
But where's Little Boy Blue who has lost his sheep?
He's under a haystack with Little Bo Peep.

[Stephynbouby]

Couples in their teens tri-weekly.

Couples in their 50s try weekly.

Couples in their 70s try weakly.

[Stephynbouby]

A topless woman was about to enter a church when she was stopped by a priest.

Priest: You can't come into this church in your present state of undress.

Woman: But I have a divine right.

Priest: You also have a divine left but you're still not coming into this church in your present state of undress.

[Stephynbouby]

She was only the Sergeant's daughter
But she knew what Reggie meant.

[Stephynbouby]

Jesus handed the inn-keeper 4 nails and said "Can you put me up for the night".

[Stephynbouby]

Did you hear about the gay outlaw who rode into time and shot up the sheriff?

[Stephynbouby]

Grow your own dope:

Plant a man.

[Stephynbouby]

For the man who has everything:
Penicillin.